Are you listening to your feelings and tending to your needs?

How aware are you of your feelings and what your needs are?

I’m growing in this awareness and realizing more and more how important this is to my overall health and well-being.

When I am able to identify what I am feeling and what my needs are and then able to communicate those 2 things in a healthy way to the people close to me, I am a much better wife, mom and person. Not to mention when I respect my feelings and needs I enjoy being me much more and that is an important thing to do, enjoying being yourself 🙂

Life has several different components that require our valuable time and energy. I find that if I go too long neglecting one of these components than my feelings will turn from being generally joyful, grateful & content to being short with the people I love the most, irritable, perhaps feeling overwhelmed &/or a general sense that something doesn’t feel right on the inside. If these feelings begin to surface than it’s a sure sign that somewhere I have not been listening to my feelings nor tending to my needs.

Here are some different components of my life I know I need to consistently be tending too – yours may be different but It’s a really good idea to identify what they are and what they need from you so you can regularly be making deposits.

Spiritual – for me this is for the most part on a daily basis connecting with my Heavenly Father, renewing my mind in God’s word, prayer, worship, church. My relationship with Jesus is my strength and my power-source to living an abundant, overcoming life. This renews my perspective, is my manual for living life well and no one can love and serve me like my relationship with my loving Heavenly Father can.

Soul – for me this is getting a few hrs a week to myself to plan, schedule, dream, perhaps write like I am doing here in this blog post or study something that is feeding life to me. Sometimes its reading a good book. Can also be a relaxing hot bath before bed. I know for my husband he is an extravert so he is greatly recharged by being with his best buds and doing fun things. What is it for you that recharges your soul? This is so important because life can place a big demand on our souls and it’s important that we tend to the recharging. This is very healthy and very good for your healthy and overall well-being.

Physical exercise – helps with energy, with feeling healthy and strong, releases endorphins that help ward-off depression. So important. Even just a little 4-5/wk is so beneficial. I started making it a goal of 5x/wk for a minimum of 10minutes and I can feel and see the benefits from this. If I am able to do more, great – but truly even 10 minutes can be beneficial. I would do this before hoping in the shower – since I have 4 little kiddos at home Its tougher to get in long workouts.

Nutrition – It’s important to consume at least 50% of your diet as living foods – Greens, vegetables and fruit. Drink plenty of water 32-48oz/day (I’m working on this!!). Blending yummy smoothies is a great way to get in extra living foods. Spinach in tasteless in a smoothie and if you add frozen organic fruit and a little lemon &/or a small piece of ginger it’s so yummy and good for you!

Marriage – If you’re married, this is your #1 relationship on this planet. Make investments continually. This is God’s gift to you, nurture your relationship. Figure out what your spouse’s love language is and make those deposits regularly. Find out what their needs are and do your best to help ensure those needs are being met. Are you having plenty of date nights and sex? Also – make sure you do have a thriving relationship with Jesus because no human being on this planet is equipped to meet ALL of your beautiful hearts needs – only God can do that. Learn to allow Him to meet your needs and then simply enjoy and be grateful for what your spouse can bless you with. Pressure off of other people to meet all our needs and pressure ON God because He is the one who actually can meet our needs 🙂

Parenting – If you are a parent – the needs physical and emotional required from you in teaching and training your children require so much of you so it’s very, very important that you are getting your spiritual, soul, physical exercise, nutrition, and marriage needs taken care of. A healthy woman is able to be a healthy mom to her children. And what a great example to your children that you are able to be a well-rounded healthy woman.

Your Home – This is a constant demand. The laundry is never-ending as well as the meals, kitchen clean-up, tidying up, bathroom cleaning, sweeping, dusting, vacuuming, yard-work, etc, etc. Your work in your home is so important. A home in order contributes to feelings of peace, love, joy, haven and able to recharge. You can have a home that is peaceful and has some order even with many little ones in the home. It will require a lot of work, but it’s so worth it! If you work outside the home, perhaps you can hire some help. Being organized is essential in keeping your home in order. If you need help with this, my Illuminate My Life Planner would be such a blessing to you. It’s helped me in our home so much.

Budgeting – finances need to be in order, and you need to know where your money is going. Being a generous person to others also requires financial responsibility on our end so we are making wise investments with our finances and so we know what we even can give. I find I do best by the cash envelope system with the groceries/date night/fun spending/giving/house-hold items. I use YNAB (you need a budget) to help me keep my finances in order. For me personally, this can be one of the things that I let slip with staying on top of. I am really working on this because it is so important. It’s vital to a healthy marriage too.

Your family/friendships/work/passions/ministry…. Are other needs that you need to think thru & tend to on a regular basis in life. For sake of time I am going to end here for now. But please know that your feelings and your needs are very important. Your feelings are good and will help you to identify what your needs are. I recently learned of the “I message” when identifying and communicating your needs to others. It goes like this “I feel ____(insert feeling)____ when you________ and I want to feel (how you want to feel) with you ____(when this happens or when you do____). It is your job to update your loved ones how you are feeling and what you need in a healthy/respectful way. Without attacking the other person. The “I message” allows you to communicate how you feel and what you need in a healthy/positive way. For more info on this I highly recommend Danny Silk’s book “Keep Your Love On”. It’s great.

Adore you beautiful friends and am praying for wisdom as you identify what your feelings and needs are.

Love you lots and we are in this together,


Tip #4 to bringing beauty & order into your world

IMG_6746I really enjoy all of these tips I’m sharing with you but maybe my favorite one is tip #4 of bringing beauty & order into our everyday lives which is to clean-up the kitchen as much as you can after each meal!! I understand life doesn’t always allow that but it’s something I try to do if time allows. Isn’t it so much joyful & easier to creatively cook when beginning with a clean kitchen?! Every night we make sure the sink is empty, countertops have all been wiped down & usually 1x a day we do a quick sweep which is easy because it’s a pretty small kitchen & w/ 8 people in & out all day (our kitchen is the walkway to get outside) it’s necessary! My favorite thing to do while cleaning the kitchen is try to make it fun & a refreshing task! Dance party!! Or connecting with whomever is helping to clean-up or if I’m by myself I love to listen to a podcast. Often when washing dishes throughout the day I use it as my que to begin thanking God out loud for all the little things I’m so thankful for in my life! Rather than it being a daunting task, I really enjoy cleaning up & feel refreshed afterwards!